


Bone Clone

by CastielsCarma



Category: Supernatural
Genre: DestielFFPrompt (Supernatural), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25040587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielsCarma/pseuds/CastielsCarma
Summary: Dean is dancing and having a grand old time in the Bunker. After taking a short nap he wakes up, only to find another Dean right next to him in the bed. Dean does what Dean does and pulls a gun at him. But the other Dean has other plans.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 12
Kudos: 86





	Bone Clone

**Author's Note:**

> This is my prompt from the Facebook group Destiel Port! Hope you like it! =D
> 
> "Dean Winchester is dancing to music in the bunker one night and knocks over some jars only thing is he has no idea what was in them. He wakes to two of himself. The hunter part of his personality and the side he has always repressed. Can Dean live with himself long enough fo Rowena to find a cure and not give in to his hidden desires? Oh look Castiel just walked by wearing a robe only... did someone say snack because Dean#2 sure wants one. Sam wanted Dean to be open with himself and Cas about how he feels but this is a bit much. Write "Double Dean" and let us read the crazy happenings at the Bunker."

Music blares into his headphones as Dean most definitely doesn't glide along the bunker corridor – the floor isn't smooth enough – but it's great for the small jumps and sways of his hips as Dean feels the music. The only way he will not feel _Kashmir_ and how the rhythm of the song pulses in his veins is when he's dead. And he's having a day off, so Death will kindly have wait for her turn.

He turns and opens a door. Momentarily darkness envelops him but he flicks his hand against the wall, finding the light switch. Light floods the room and Dean turns in surprise; this is not the second storage pantry. He shakes his head in disbelief and chooses to ignore the fact that he – Dean Winchester, badass hunter – has momentarily lapsed in his observational skills to the extent that he entered the wrong room. If the music wasn't so good Dan would almost be embarrassed but he just shakes it off.

He nudges a shelf with his swaying body. Just as the tunes switch to Taylor Swift's _Shake it off_ , and ain't that hilarious, Dean hears a crashing sound. He pulls down the headphones and turns towards the sound. A small jar of something has exploded into a thousand tiny shards. Dean curses under his breath and tries to pick up the pieces, only to get sand stuck on his hands. He hopes it's sand, he really doesn't want or need dead guy exfoliate.

He brushes away as much as he can from his pants and uses his shoes to swipe away the rest. There, it's like nothing ever happened. As he closes the door, Dean checks the hallway – he won't get lost a second time – and dances to his room.

Dean's phone buzzes so he pulls it up.

**Cas:** _Anything else you need besides candy and beer?_

**Dean:** _Nope, as long as Sam gets some meat for the BBQ, we good_

**Cas:** _Alright, we're heading back in 30_

**Dean:** _Ok_

The laundry is on, the dishwasher is going and Baby is clean. Dean contemplates watching a movie until Sam and Cas get back but then he glances at the bed. He _is_ alone, no one to disturb him and it's been forever since he's done it. He feels the need growing as soon as he thinks the thought.

Dean jumps down on the bed, flicks off the light and closes his eyes. He thinks of removing his pants but opts not to. This will just be a quickie. He really needs to nap more. With a satisfied sigh, he closes his eyes and lets sleep pull him under.

He stirs a few minutes later, and he knows it's only been a few minutes because the bedside clock has just moved an inch. Groaning, he turns to his side only to stare into a pair of all too familiar green eyes.

Dean jumps up with a curse, rolls down on the floor, and grabs the gun that he's hidden underneath his pillow.

The other man in the bed nods. “Impressive, If I may say so. You could be the next Jason Bourne. You should ice that knee though. It will hurt like a bitch later.” He glances down on the empty floor. “I'd put a carpet in here.”

Dean cocks the gun, aiming it straight at his look-alike. “Do not fucking move.” The man might wear his face but Dean knows for a fact that nothing good ever comes from look-alikes if it ain't a dream and this sure ain't it.

“Always with the guns. Calm down, Dean. Do your thing.” The other Dean sighs and crosses his arms in the bed, way too comfortable for someone being held at gunpoint. “The silver blade is in the –“

“Shut up.” Dean moves around the bed, still aiming the gun at this obnoxious version of not-him. He pulls open a drawer and grabs the silver blade with one hand and tosses it to the other Dean. “I want to see blood.”

The other Dean smirks and raises an eyebrow. “Kinky. I bet you do.” He licks his lips, looking around the room.”Where's Cas?”

“I swear to all that's holy, if you don't shut up I'll put a bullet through you. No questions asked.”

“Would you really mar a beautiful face like this? We are kind of hot.” The other Dean chuckles and grabs the knife. He drags the sharp tip over his arm, letting the blood drop freely. “See, not a shifter. You done now?”

“Nope. I can hold this gun all day.”

The other Dean gets up from the bed and walks towards Dean. “I bet you can play with your gun all day. Want some help? I know all the tricks to make it feel good. Figures, since I am you, you know. It'd be advanced jerking off really.”

Dean's eyes narrow. “This gotta be some magic. How do I get rid of you?”

“Why would you get rid of me? And yeah, fine. It's magic.” The other Dean takes another step towards Dean.

Dean scoffs. “Of course it's magic. How do I undo you?”

“You're asking the wrong questions, Dean. You should do me though.”

Dean blinks. “What?... I can't be this...”

“Amazing, cool, badass? Trust me, it's all us. But let's say, I'm all of you. All of the parts you keep hidden deep down. For various reasons. As for how to undo me? No fucking clue. But again, why would you? It's like having a new best twin.”

Dean licks his lips. “I don't have any parts hidden...”

A flash of sympathy crosses the other Dean's face before he shakes his head. “You can't lie to me. Anyway, where's Cas and Sam? I wanna meet them.”

“Like hell you are. Sit down. On the bed again.”

The other Dean sighs but does as he is told. “I'm not out to hurt you, you know. I'm you. You from this timeline, this life. You don't have to fear that I'll turn out to be a fucking psycho. Remember when we did the whole Croatoan trip, with douche Dean? Yeah, not him.”

“Take off your shirt.”

The other Dean raises an eyebrow but complies with Dean's orders. “Bossy today, I see.”

“Put this on.” Dean tosses him a black flannel shirt.

The other Dean puts on the shirt and it fits him perfectly. “Should wear black more, it looks good on you. And purple. Cas likes purple.”

Dean grabs some rope. “Gimme your wrists.” He ties the ropes tightly, knows the ropes will probably burn but he doesn't care. He can't let this thing, this crazy clone run around freely in the Bunker. At the last minute, he remembers a trick he knows. He pushes the other Dean's wrists close together and pulls a part of the knot tight.

The other Dean's wrists stay slotted together but Dean sees the gleam in his eyes.

“Hoped I wouldn't remember that, did you?”

“I was hoping you'd be too stunned to remember yeah. Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. As sure as hell won't hurt Cas nor Sammy so just, let me do my thing and I'll be on my way.”

“If you think I'ma let you walk around to do your thing – what does that even mean – then you're crazy.” Dean grabs the ends of the rope and ties it securely to the bed. It's a heavy piece of solid wood and if Dean doesn't have some secret Hulk strength he doesn't know about the other Dean will stay put.

“You still haven't asked me the right question though?”

Dean shakes his head. “You can't be me. I can't be this fucking annoying. Fine, I'll play. What's the question?”

“If I'm the part of you that you keep hidden, the part that's suppressed, then how will you get rid of me?”

Dean glares at the other Dean. “I was hoping vacuuming that dust in the storage room would do the trick. That's the only unusual thing that happened before my nap. So you're just some weird-ass magical dust creature that I'll clean away.”

The other Dean nods. “Mm, won't work. What did Rapunzel want most of all?”

Dean blinks at the sudden change of topic. “Uh, how the hell should I know?”

“Come on, you watched the movie like, what, ten times? You know every single word by heart. I know you really like Frozen but Rapunzel comes a close second, right? Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Hatchetman.”

Dean shakes his head and mutters. “Should've put a fucking gag on you.”

“We like that.”

“Don't fucking push it.”

The other Dean just chuckles.

Dean contemplates just knocking his annoying twin out. That would leave him time to figure things out but Cas and Sam will be there any minute so really it wouldn't do jack shit. “A hairbrush. She has long hair and the tangles would be a bitch.”

“ _Dean._ “

“Alright. Rapunzel wanted freedom most of all. You happy now? This some ploy to set you free? You ain't Rapunzel, handsome.”

“Why freedom?”

“Why? Because her crazy ass stepmom kidnapped her and locked her up in a tower and had a thing for hair and magical lullabies.”

The other Dean hummed. “Yep. So give me what I need, what I _want_ – what we _both_ want – and I'll be out of your life.”

Dean feels his heart race and his throat suddenly go dry. Definitely a gag. He doesn't want to ask but he finds himself being morbidly curious. It's like looking into the magical mirror, asking about your heart's desire except there is no mirror, just an annoying magical twin. “What do you want?”

A smile flashes over the other Dean's face and his eyes go soft, almost vulnerable as he utters the one-syllable word Dean fears he'd hear. “Cas.”

Dean scoffs. “Yeah, no. Not happening. If you think I'd just hand Cas over to some DollyDean clone, you are crazy mistaken. I'm solving this the old-fashioned way. Now you sit tight. I'ma pee and then we'll figure out a way to send you back to whatever the hell you came from.”

The other Dean just smirks and stares at Dean through his eyelashes. Dean never looks at people like that. He shakes his head and heads to the bathroom.

A minute later he's back and curses when he sees the empty bed. “Son of a bitch, where did you go?”

“Here.”

Dean turns towards the sound and sudden pain explodes in his head. He reaches for his forehead and bends down as pain washes over him.

He slides down to the floor and blinks slowly. He sees the broken legs of a chair and looks up.

The other Dean has dropped the pieces on the floor. “You are stubborn, Dean but this time you've really met your match. Me. Cause I'm you. I need to do this.”

Dean rolls his eyes and steadies himself with a hand on the floor. Pieces of the wrecked chair are scattered on the floor.“If you so much as –

“Yeah, yeah. I'm dead. In a world of trouble. You're gonna haul my ass back to wherever I came from.” The other Dean bends down, licks his lips. “I'm doing this for both of us. I'll do it because enough with pushing shit down, Dean. We're worth more than that. And I'll do it for you because... I know what you want.” He gets up. “And as an added bonus, you'll get rid of me.”

Dean is still groggy but manages to push himself up. “You are not to leave this room.”

The other Dean backs away, a small grin on his face. “First, I'll take Cas against the wall, then we can make out in the kitchen. We're definitely doing it in Baby. We can cuddle and eat some burgers, then I'm gonna need a _snack_.”

Dean fumes as the other Dean talks. “What the hell? I'm not, you're _not –_ Listen, if you so much as touch Cas I'll kill you. Got it?”

The other Dean winks with one eye. “You'd kill to be me, you mean?” He starts walking away, confidence in every step.

“You _are_ me, you dipshit! Hey, come back here.”

The other Dean slams the door in his face and when Dean opens it again, his menace of a twin is gone.

Dean curses and is just about to text a cautionary message to Cas and Sam when he hears Sam yell. Great. So much for a heads-up warning.

When Dean arrives in the kitchen, Sam is staring wildly at the other Dean. Cas is weirdly tense, barely looking at the other Dean.

Dean has no idea what the hell has happened in like the span of five seconds for both of them to react as they do. His clone has the same handsome face as he does, so it's not like they should suspect something.

Cas' eyes lock onto Dean and realization dawns over him. He narrows his eyes and sets his mouth in a hard line. Cas seems hurt and even though Dean has no fucking idea why he is hurt, it pisses him off. It's not like _he_ hurt Cas, and yet a seed of guilt grows, taking root in his heart.

Sam whips out a gun, pointing it at him while addressing the other Dean. “Dean, what the hell is going on? Are you drunk?”

Dean immediately raises his arms. “Whoa, whoa, it's cool, Sammy. It's me. Me, your brother. Man, it stings you not recognizing me. Lower the gun.”

Sam shakes his head. “Can't do that. You might be a shifter.”

The other Dean nods. “Smart, Sammy. He might be a shifter.” He bends down and pulls out a tiny silver blade from his shoe. “Let's play find the fake.”

“You're the fake,” Dean hisses.

Cas takes a step forward. “I don't smell any alcohol on neither of them, so... Dean's peculiar behavior can't be explained away due to drunkenness.”

“Oh, I am drunk, Cas.” The other Dean stares at Cas. “Drunk at the sight of you.”

Sam turns and aims the weapon at the other Dean.

“Hah!” Dean exclaims in triumph. “Not so cocky now, are you?”

“Hey, Dean number two. This is for you too. Nobody moves until Cas tests both of you.”

Both Deans shake their heads and grumble out a “fine.”

Dean glares at his clone. “Stop that.”

Cas grabs the knife from the other Dean and slices both of their fingers swiftly. He steps back and waits but nothing happens.

Finally, Dean's patience snaps. “OK, we tried your shifter theory, now listen to me – “

The other Dean interrupts. “Cas, I need to talk to you. There's something that I should've said– “

Panic makes Dean's throat constrict as his heart beats rapidly in his chest. He'll be damned if someone spills anything. Just the thought of Cas looking at him differently, acting differently around him or worse – leaving him – has him in a worried frenzy.

Dean acts on instinct and makes a fist. The sound as his knuckles connect with the other Dean's face is very satisfying, he won't lie.

As the other Dean falls to the floor, Dean walks over to Sam and Cas. “There, problem fixed.”

Cas looks at the other Dean, still avoiding Dean's eyes.

Dean has no time to worry about that, his only priority is to get Dean 0.5 – he isn't an upgrade by any means – away from Cas and the Bunker.

“Dean, words? Any? What happened?”

Dean smacks his lips. “How should I know, Sam? I woke up after my nap and there he was, right next to me.” He rubs his neck, still avoiding Cas. “Said he had a thing to do.”

Cas' gravely voice soothes his nerves at the same time as his heart rate spikes. “Did he say anything else? Is he from another dimension? Another timeline? I can sense that he's different, his soul seems – “

“Nope.”

Cas arches his eyebrow at Dean's quick answer.

Dean sighs. He needs to calm down. Shaking his head, he goes to the fridge and grabs a beer. “We can just leave him there. Maybe he disappears after midnight. You know like the Fairy Godmother's spell. Coach back to pumpkin.”

“Dean, you can't be serious.”

“Oh, I'm very serious, Sammy.” The chill of the beer as he swallows make him cool down a tad. Maybe if he goes back to sleep and wakes up again, this will all turn out to have been just a nightmare.

“Did you do something different before all this? Maybe there's a clue we can glean from that, a way to make this... other Dean disappear.” Cas looks at Dean, and again, quickly averts his gaze.

Dean's stomach drops. Cas is acting all kinds of weird and that says a lot from the guy that organizes his shirts in color _and_ wear. Sure, it's nice to know that the softest shirts are to the right but he's still not quite sure how he does it.

“I already told you, I had a nap and then he showed.”

“How about before your nap,” Sam interjected.

“I was listening to music.” He crosses his arms defensively.

Cas looks at the other Dean before turning his attention to Dean. “Anything noteworthy that happened before that?”

Yeah, his hips didn't lie as he danced his heart out but he's not going to tell Sammy that he used the corridors in the Bunker as his personal dance floor. “Listening to _Kashmir._ ” Dean stops as he remembers. “I went to the wrong room. Was heading to the storage room but... got distracted. Opened the door next to it instead.”

“Alright. I'll go check the room. You and Cas... figure out what to do with this Dean.”

As Sam leaves, Dean stares at the other Dean. It feels weird to look at what essentially is himself on the floor. The angry lines are soft, almost erased, his hair is disheveled and his thick eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks in the yellow light of the kitchen. He almost looks... vulnerable.

Dean swallows. “I say we tie him up somewhere.”

Cas tilts his head slightly. “He seems harmless.”

Dean turns to Cas, surprise in his voice. “Harmless? Look, if he is anything like me, he won't be harmless. We don't know anything about whatever he's planning.”

The other Dean stirs then and opens his eyes. He glares at Dean with murder in his eye. “Alright, dipshit. We're even now, with the chair and all but if you try anything like this again, I'll kick you from here to Chattanooga. ” He turns and sees Cas. He gets up, a smile across his previously hard face. “Cas.”

Dean swallows. He recognizes the warmth in the voice, it's like he's hearing himself.

A bruise is already forming around fake Dean's eye and there is slight swelling on his left cheek. Dean ignores the pang of guilt that assaults him. What the fuck should he feel guilty about that?

The other Dean is close to Cas, way too close to Dean's liking.

Cas clears his throat. “Can I help you with that?”

“Anytime, Cas.”

Cas glances over at Dean and he nods. It's not like he's giving Cas permission, he's not but he nods anyway, wanting to cement this bond they have over this intruder that there to... to fill Cas' head with lies and shit.

_Didn't_ you _think all those thoughts that the other Dean said? Don't_ you _want Cas?_ Dean clenches his jaw. He does but that doesn't mean that Cas wants him. And he's sure as hell's not gonna watch double douche over there take Cas away from him.

_Well, it's not like_ you _have claimed Cas._

Cas places a hand over other Dean's cheek and Dean can see a faint glow as Cas heals him.

The other Dean smiles and raises his hand. He strokes Cas' hand as the angel heals him. “I've always liked your hands, Cas.” His eyes roam over the angel and he takes a slight step forward, practically pushing his body against Cas. “Thank you.”

The sight of Cas and what essentially boils down to a horny version of himself stirs up all kinds of emotions in Dean. Desire – he wants to touch Cas like that, jealousy – that the asshole version of him has his hands all over Cas, and fear – both that Cas will reject him and clawing nauseating thought that Cas won't. “Alright, you're healed.” He grabs the other Dean by the shoulder and pulls him away.

The other Dean narrows his eyes in anger. “Hands off me. Lucky for you that I'm restraining myself for Cas' sake.”

“Oh, for Cas' sake? Trust me, he wouldn't mind me punching you into oblivion.”

“Yeah, you'd know all about that. Isn't that what you do with your feelings? Push them down into oblivion and pretend everything is OK? But I know you.” The other Dean thrusts a finger into Dean's chest.

He turns to Cas. “Just give me two minutes with him. That's all I need.”

Cas licks his lips. “Dean, I think we should go to your room.”

The other Dean nods. “Hell yeah, told you so.” He's already heading towards Cas' room.

“Not what you think, you asshole. We're gonna hash out a plan.”

Cas interjects as they follow behind the other Dean. “It seems that this version of you is... very free-spirited.”

Dean rubs a hand over his face. “I'm sorry, Cas. I have no idea how this happened but I'ma fix it. I'm thinking about ganking his ass but he said that won't work. He's gotta finish his... thing.”

“Oh, you know how we can get rid of him?”

Dean bites his tongue and realizes that he's said too much. “Yeah, not exactly. He's... hinted at it.”

“And?”

Ice-cold fear grips Dean and that pisses him off. He's tired. Tired of keeping douche Dean at bay, tired of being afraid of what Cas will think if he even breaths about his feelings for him. And through it all is a thread of envy, a sudden urge to just throw it all to the wind.

_You'll never see Cas again. He doesn't love you, you idiot._

Dean grits his teeth. “He's just talking crap, Cas. He said he's an alternative version of me and that he's gotta finish his thing.”

Cas looked at him, confusion on his face. “And the thing is?”

“I don't know,” Dean bites off. He can see how Cas narrows his eyes, probably knows he's full of shit, but Dean ignores it. He almost wants to laugh. He's a real pro at ignoring stuff. What he can't ignore is the sight as they enter Dean's room.

The other Dean sits on Dean's bed and has already started to unbutton his shirt. He looks up as they both enter and smiles. “Dean, you don't have to be here, I got this. Take a long shower, take Baby out for a drive, make pulled pork. I'll take good care of Cas.”

“Make pulled – “ Dean hisses. “Listen. I'm not gonna make a pulled pork.” He grabs the other Dean's arm. “Get up from the bed.” As he pulls at the other Dean, he slides out of his shirt.

“Dean, thank you. I appreciate your help. And you're really helping yourself.” He does the finger guns like an idiot.

Cas' eyes linger on Dean's naked upper body before he turns to looks at both of them in confusion. “What does he mean, Dean?”

The other Dean scoffs. “You haven't told him? Allow me.”

“If you don't shut your mouth – “

“And how's that worked for you so far?” He turns to Cas again, his words softer. “Cas. I'm the best sides of Dean.”

“Hey, asshole, you know I can hear you.”

The other Dean grins. “As I was saying.” He grabs Cas' shirt and pulls him in. “I'm the suppressed side of Dean.” He nuzzles the side of Cas' neck and inhales. “More exactly the suppressed love-side of Dean.”

Dean feels sick to his stomach and right then Sammy knocks on the door. Fucking great. That's all he needs. _More_ people to witness this mess.

“Guys, I found something. The dust in the storage room was not dust but the ground up... uh bones from Himeros – “ The door opens.

“ – the god of sexual desire.” Sam stops at the sight in front of him.

Cas clears his throat awkwardly, while pushing at fake Dean. “We've already figured that out. Thanks, Sam.”

“Yeah, thanks Sammy.”

The other Dean winks at Sam. “We can handle it from here.”

Sam gapes. “Um, we need to find a way to send him back. The manifested desire is immune to normal death.”

Dean sighs and pushes Sam towards the door. “For once I agree with the less handsome Dean. We're on it. Go and grow some kale.”

“I look exactly like you,” other Dean mutters.

As Sam shuts the door, Dean locks it. Just thinking about how he's going explain all of this to Sam properly is giving him a headache.

Cas stands a few steps away from the other Dean, his stance awkward.

Dean walks up to him. “Look, Cas. I'm sorry on behalf of my twin. The spell is obviously at work here.”

Cas nods, his eyes avoiding the other Dean. “Right. Of course.”

The other Dean scoffs. “Dean, give Cas more credit than that. It's a spell about sexual desires. So here I am desiring you.”

He walks over to Cas again, totally ignoring Dean and grabs him by the tie. “It's OK, Cas. I mean. Have you seen yourself? Dark hair that is so soft, it always looks like you just woke up. And your blue eyes. Man, your eyes, Cas... How many times have that gaze turned towards me made my blood boil?” He grins. “So many times Cas. Every fucking day.”

“Dean?” Cas turns to Dean, a pleading note in his voice.

“It's OK, Cas.” He turns to his twin, angry that he's made Cas uncomfortable. That is the only thing he feels angry about. “Alright, that is nothing of what I'd say to Cas. Don't listen to him, Cas. And put on your shirt!”

“Cas.” The other Dean grabs Cas gently by the chin and focuses his attention on his face again. “You know what the spell does. I have no reason to lie.” He raises his hand and touches a lock of Cas' hair. Once more he closes the small distance between them and this time he leans in and whispers in Cas' ear. “I have nothing to lose.” His hands trail down Cas' chest.

Cas closes his eyes briefly and swallows audibly before looking at Dean. “Dean... is this spell... Is it true?”

Dean's heart is ready to do the alien thing and burst right out of his chest. His mouth is dry and he's burning up and feeling a cold shiver down his spine at the same time.

The other Dean looks back at Dean, his brow slightly raised before turning back to Cas. “I've always been a man of few words Cas, and more action.”

Cas nods imperceptibly.

“So, I'll just show you.”

Dean's eyes are fixated on the scene. How the other Dean takes his hand and cards it through Cas' hair. How he claims the space between them and slowly inches his way closer. He's watching himself and feels a deep yearning to do the same.

Two warring impulses fight within him, one urges him to relax and watch – he and the other Dean look the same, so he can pretend he's doing this to Cas – the other impulse wants him to shove Dean away and for _him_ to be the reason Cas is staring at Dean.

When the other Dean brings his thumb over Cas' lower lip something in Dean snaps.

“Hey, hey, way too much pal. Now you're crossing the line.”

It's like the other Dean has mud in his ears cause he totally ignores Dean's upset objection. Asshat.

Dean walks over and shoves the other Dean away.

“Back off, bone clone. Only I can touch Cas like that.” He looks at Cas' eyes, huge with surprise. He can see apprehension there mingled with hope and fear. It's enough to make his own stomach twist in knots about what he's going to do.

He licks his lips and places a hand on Cas' shoulder.

The contact sets him on fire and his first instinct is to pull off but he persists.

“Dean?” Cas' gravelly voice is unsure and so full of hope that it almost brings Dean to his knees then and there.

Dean licks his lips again. Damn it, here goes all or nothing.

“When you leave, I hate it. I hate you – ”

Cas' eyes narrow and Dean sees the guarded look in his face again.

“That might not be the best way to start, Dean.”

Dean grits his teeth at his twin's remark. “Do you mind? I'm fucking giving you what you want!”

“Well, some of it at least. You're stubborn.” Dean can feel the other Dean's eyes on him and then he's there, whispering in his ear. “I can give you pointers about the rest. We have many ideas and... fantasies.”

“Some privacy would be nice!”

The other Dean sighs in his ear. “You don't need privacy. Every single dirty picture you've imagined, I know. Every single soft wish and yearning you've dared think about I know. I know about the fantasies and wants you're afraid to even whisper in your mind.”

Dean glares at him until the other Dean backs away.

He leans his shoulder on the locked door and crosses his arms. “Here you go. Privacy.”

Dean sighs. “Let's start over, Cas, alright?”

A ghost of a smile makes Cas' lips turn up slightly. “Hasn't that been our story for how long? We're good at starting over.”

“Yeah, we are.” Dean takes a deep breath. “When you died before Jack brought you back, I was broken...crushed really. Those days when you were gone felt like decades. Nothing mattered, Cas.”

Cas stays silent but Dean gets the feeling that these words he's uttering are being meticulously examined. Dean just hops that Cas will find him... good enough by the end. He shoves down the bile that threatens to rise up at the thought of a negative answer.

“I stopped living Cas, and when you were brought back, I was so fucking happy, alright. But there's always another monster to fight, always another apocalypse to prevent. Do you remember that spell with the tablet?”

Cas nods softly. “Yes.”

Dean's voice lowers. “In that crypt when I was on my knees, begging for my life I wanted to say those words, Cas. Of course, I need you, I always have but that was a lie, spoken by a goddamn coward. When you said yes to Lucifer I thought I'd never see you and then Michael happened; we couldn't catch a break. I saved your trench coat for weeks after the Leviathans, hoping... praying that you'd be back. Purgatory...”

There is something in Cas' eyes Dean doesn't dare name but at least he's not running away. Dean continues. “There's been so many times when I wanted to touch you, to... “ Dean steels himself. “When I wanted to just kiss you but I never did. Because I was afraid. I need you, yeah, but I also want you.”

Dean looks down. “I... I love you, Cas. Have loved you for a long time.”

Cas doesn't move. Dean knows because his gaze is fixated on Cas' shoes. They're black with a shine to them and he thinks that Cas must have polished them. There's a pounding in his head and the world seems to stand still.

A soft squeeze on his shoulder makes him look to his right. The other Dean stands there, his eyes filled with empathy. “Breathe, Dean. It's gonna be alright.” He smiles. “You did good. I'm proud of you.” His hand slides off.

“Dean.” Cas' dark whisper catches Dean's attention but he doesn't want to look up. He can't look up. The last couple of minutes feel like a dream and he wants to wake up and find that everything is as usual.

Cas takes his hand and Dean lets out a breath.

“Dean.” Cas' voice is gentle, almost pleading. “Please, look at me.”

Dean clenches his other fist but looks up at Cas, steeling himself for what he's going to find.

Cas practically shines. It has nothing to do with grace but his eyes are glowing and his gummy smile is huge. “Dean...” Cas reaches out to touch Dean's and his hand trembles.

Slowly, Dean closes his eyes. He can't help it. The way Cas touches him, the softness of it, is almost too much. This is a man who has finally found what he's been looking for. A man that has been lost and is now finally home. A man who has found peace.

Dean is not sure if he's thinking about Cas or himself.

“I love you, Dean. I love you. I love you.”

The words are water to his parched soul, a hammer to his hardened heart. Dean opens his eyes again and Cas is so close. His lips that Dean has wanted to kiss forever, his cheek that he has yearned to caress, his heart that is too good to hold Dean's love.

Except it isn't.

Dean exhales. “Love you, Cas.” His mouth is on Cas' a second later. It's not a soft, chaste kiss. No, it's hard, yearning, needing, and wanting.

Cas lets out a surprised gasp but instantly molds himself to Dean's body, pressing hard against him.

He feels Cas' hands in his hair, on his body, pulling at his shirt, tugging at his belt. Dean is dimly aware of clothes coming off, but he's too occupied, to swept away in the notion of actually kissing Cas.

Cas that tastes of thunderstorms and ocean waves whipping at the face, of the strong summer scent on naked skin. Cas that tastes of acceptance, and patience and yearning, and love. Above all, of love.

Dean pushes at Cas and asks a question that comes out a moan. “Bed?” He's panting, rock hard and his heart is going a hundred miles an hour. He might be having a heart attack.

“Bed is over there, Dean.” The other Dean points and when Dean looks at him, he's oddly see-through, like a ghost.

“I couldn't have found it without you, “ Dean says dryly.

The other Dean winks at him.”You got a lot of pent-upped oomph. Go get him, tiger.” He vanishes before Dean's eyes.

Dean laughs and then focuses on Cas again.

Cas winks, one of those half-winks with an eye that he never seems to get quite right. “You heard him. Go get me.”

Dean pushes Cas down on the bed and intertwines his hand with his. “I already have you.”


End file.
